I'm just so...

I've not used my blog to vent or pour out my feelings or ramble in the 3 or so years that I've had this blog. Well, today changes all of that! Lucky you! I just feel that I have to get out there the kinds of wonderful changes that have been going on in Jeremy and I's lives. I feel so content and humbled lately. The kind of feeling that can only be explained as warmth in my heart as I'm fortunate enough to observe the fruit of obedience to my Father. My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Jeremy and I have gone through a lot in the past 6 1/2 years. And when I say a lot I'm talking some pretty terrible, self-inflicting, digging deep holes, make or breaking, trying, testing, nearly impossible to overcome... that kind of a lot. From being homeless, to overcoming drug addiction, to losing a child, we have been put through the ringer. I don't say that with resentment, but joy. Weird, huh? There are times that I look back at our past in disbelief. Never, did I envision my life going the way that it has. Interesting how that works, huh? Jeremy and I both grew up in Christian homes but veered into some years onto the road less traveled. We are both people that, apparently, needed to find what else was out there before we found our way back to our chosen path. God has done some amazing things in us. In the past year or so, Jeremy and I have both recommitted our lives to Christ and have not looked back for a second. I am so thankful that we hit rock bottom. Also weird, huh? I know there's a saying out there that says something about not knowing or appreciating where you are now until you can see where you've come from... something like that. It basically sums up how I feel about being grateful for the mud in my life and in my past. There is no room for pride because I can see where my life ends up when I place it in my own hands. I see now how precious my life is and how I don't trust it to anyone but my Creator. I'm so encouraged by the character challenge that Faith in Christ is. It's so wonderful to feel weight lifted off of my shoulders because of the freedom I have in God. I don't have to own all of the negative stuff that this world throws my way! How crazy. Can you imagine a life, where, because of a sequence of events turning a good day into a bad day turns good again because Christ already died for all of that bad stuff? How freeing is that?? I can literally, see the amazing changes in my life when I'm walking in Faith. My reactions to things are tamed and in control, I treat a negative turn of events as a challenge and a faith tester making me not only closer to God but so appreciative that He can bring me out of it, I love people, I'm such a better wife and friend, and even in the midst of a trial, I can smile and be still in what God is to me, knowing that He is strong when I am weak. How do I know this for sure?? GREAT question. Simple answer: I've been in God's presence and I've been out of it. My life in it, is full of abundance. I'm not talking diamonds, business deals and an exploding bank account. I'm talking about REAL abundance. The kind that overflows from your heart and onto the people around you. Abundance of love. Love that's shown in the most real and purest way. I hope that one day my actions explain this better than I can with words. I feel so blessed in trials and humbled in victories. I love with all of my heart. I am so moved by what He has done in my life and in J's and in our marriage and relationships. I'm not even going to edit this because it's basically just rambling and jumbled.. I'm just so..

blessed.