Be Kind: Week 2

Week One of my love challenge was the never ending struggle of displaying a sense of patience. Much like every person I have ever met, I have a very specific set of stressors that cause me to lose my cool and become a bit of an impatient toe tapper. I was challenged, to say the least. The next element of displaying Godly love is kindness.  I needed to look this one up. My thoughts were "okay, so I just need to be nice this week? No problem!" For the sake of keeping this Love Challenge, an actual challenge, I decided against looking at this week as the easy week and learn what true Godly kindness is...

 

What is kindness?

Kindness starts with caring—being tenderhearted and compassionate toward others. If God wants us to be kind to animals, how much more to people! (See Proverbs 12:10).

Next, we must make it our goal and habit to be actively looking for opportunities to show kindness. When we see one, we need to act quickly before the opportunity is gone.

The Greek word for "kind" is chrestos. Part of its meaning is useful, which makes it clear that biblical kindness involves action. "Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions" (1 John 3:18, New Living Translation, emphasis added throughout).

Action includes some kind of self-sacrifice and therefore generosity on our part, especially of our time. (That doesn't mean we neglect sufficient rest and whatever is needed to refill our own well.)

Of course, the emphasis on deeds over mere words does not mean words are unnecessary. Action includes words. Encouraging words of comfort, courtesy, compliments and even correction can be heartwarming acts of kindness. Several biblical proverbs attest to this.

What to say and not say should be guided by awareness of the sensitivities of others. We must help people heal from their emotional wounds rather than rubbing salt in those wounds. Sadly, when people know what "buttons to push," they often use that insight to further hurt each other.

Our motive for "charitable deeds" should not be to impress people (Matthew 6:1-4). The greatest rewards from God come when our acts of kindness are done humbly, quietly and, when practical, anonymously.

Doing someone a favor to get a favor in return is not wrong unless it's illegal or unethical (like bribery). But a favor done to get some benefit is not true kindness. Genuine kindness is lending a helping hand when you expect nothing in return.

Kindness should begin with our kin. Ironically and tragically, many people display their most unkind behavior with the ones they should love the most. God is not unaware of this hypocrisy.

And Jesus Christ emphasized that we must be kind to everyone, not just our family and friends (Luke 6:31-34). If you do this, "your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to [even] the unthankful and evil" (verse 35).

(from the amazing site http://www.ucg.org/christian-living/fruit-spirit-kindness-heart-helping-hand/ . I often reference this site when I need to take a deeper look at something that seems far too simple)

Clearly I am up for a bit more of a challenge than simply "being nice." Week 2? Be kind.

Mere Christianity

A little bit of a vocab lesson (and by saying the word "lesson" understand that I don't think that I'm teaching you something you don't already know) according to my marketing class:

Attitude- a consistent evaluation, positive or negative, about people, places or things
Motivation-a need that causes action
Satisfiers-factors that meet needs
Learning-a change in behavior due to past experiences

I'm reading a book I was given as a Christmas gift from my brother-in-law, Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. I'm sure you've heard of it, it's one of the biggies. I grew up with Christian morals and standards as a child. It was the pillar of my upbringing. I have always believed that if you stand firm on something that you were told to believe then you aren't standing firm at all, you need to experience it for yourself. Make it your own. Know exactly why it is you believe what you do... not just because mommy said so. While reading this book I've been very motivated to share it with other people, I'm learning a lot and it's creating a new perspective and a new attitude on why my faith meets my needs... I've spent a good amount of time trying to run away from the path that God has for my life. Faith and Grace pull me back in, every time. I've been doing a lot of reading and researching. Equipping, if you will. I want to understand why I feel what I feel. I'm the halfway person, you know.. there's the person that is ok with just "that feeling" and basing their faith on that, these people don't need proof. Truth is truth and that's the end of the story.. Others need facts and dates and history.. more of an intellectual ground to stomp on. I'm inbetween the two. I always have been. 'Mere Christianity' is a very logical way of looking at the Christian faith. I have been challenged, humbled and convicted by this book. C.S. Lewis is brilliant. Here's a few quotes I've underlined, so far.. (I'm only 150 pages in)

~"Strictly speaking, there are no such thing as good and bad impulses. Think once again of a piano. It has not got two kinds of notes on it, the "right" notes and the "wrong" ones. Every single note is right at one time and wrong at another. The Moral Law is not any one instinct or set of instincts: it is something which makes a kind of tune (the tune we call goodness or right conduct) by directing the instincts."

~"In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that-and, therefore, know yourself as nothing in comparison- you do not know God at all. As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you"

~"To love and admire anything outside yourself is to take one step away from utter spiritual ruin; though we shall not be well so long as we love and admire anything more than we love and admire God"

~"Charity means 'Love, in a Christian sense.' But love in a Christian sense does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people."

~"We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means-the only complete realist."

~"And what matters is the nature of the change in itself, not how we feel while is is happening. It is the change from being confident about our own efforts to the state in which we despair of doing anythings for ourselves and leave it to God."

I can't wait to finish this book, undoubtedly, with a new fresh perspective on Christianity.

A Story...

...told by my dad, published in my Grandmother's book 'Confessions of an ex-Jehovah's Witness':

We stood on the slick, brown path at the top of the cliff, shivering, dripping wet, not really conscious of what had just happened. "Am I in trouble?" Toni asked. I choked down the lump in my throat, smiled and answered, "No, honey." She was silent for a few moments, no small accomplishment for a chatty 7-year-old. "Well" she said finally, "I guess God just didn't want me dead yet." All emotions broke loose. I knelt down in the mucky path and held my precious daughter in my arms, tears shamelessly falling down my cheeks. Other hikers may have passed us by. I do not recall. All I could think of was what might have happened, could have happened to Toni. And me.

*************

It was a beautiful May afternoon in the Pacific Northwest. The rain was much warmer than normal for this time of year.

I had carefully chosen an ambitious outing for myself and my three kids: Tyler, my oldest, was all boy at 11. Cali, my youngest was 6 years old, had a wanderlust; I'd have to keep a close eye on her. And Toni. "Little Miss Socialite," my wife called her. She had a God-given gift of leadership that did not need teaching but did need mentoring.

The outing I had chosen for that Saturday afternoon was a hike I'd found in a trail guide for children. It appeared to be a relatively easy hike in the foothills of Snoqualmie Pass. The guide showed a beautiful waterfall on the trail, plus a natural waterslide. It was unlikely that we would be able to enjoy the waterslide because the spring runoff would be fierce.

The rain drizzled steadily over us, but the thick pine canopy reduced the rain to a faint mist. Happily, we marched in a single file up the trail to the first top, a 50-foot drop called Franklin's Falls. The scene was breathtaking and the kids loved it.

The thick, foggy mist made our hair and face wet and cold, but the kids didn't seem to mind. We lingered for awhile as the falls poured thousands of gallons into Denny Creek, making the smooth rocks at the base of the falls waxy and unsure. Then, we returned to the trail.

Again, we formed a single file as the path wove up and away from the river into the dense forest, and back along the canyon's edge some 30 to 40 feet above the creek. Occasionally, we would wander away from the path and look over the edge of the cliff, admiring God's handiwork, stopping once to eat a quick lunch. I encouraged the kids to explore safely, within eyesight and earshot of myself or one of the other kids. These were smart kids, eager to wander but conscious of their surroundings and potential for danger.

Off to the right we could hear the thunder of another waterfall. This one was not on the map. We left the trail to find it.

There it was, smaller than Franklin Falls, but no less beautiful. It fell at least 40 feet straight into a steeply declining chute of rapids. I could see now why the guide said we would not be able to delight in the waterslide; the river was angry here, rushing by at a speed I could not calculate. I stood in awe of the raw power being generated. The sound was nearly deafening, and I did not notice that my three children were climbing down for a closer look, with Toni, the natural leader, in front.

I started down after them, being mindful of the glassy smooth rocks that were thinly covered by new green moss.

"Watch your step," I yelled over the din of the falls. "Those rocks are really slippery!"
Toni nodded. Tyler waved, but Cali held back a little and let me pass so that I could help her down.

As I reached back to help Cali down a small ridge, I heard a scream.

I whipped my head around just in time to see Toni falling headfirst over the cliff's horizon.
Strangely, I was not afraid, was not panicked. I felt a profound sense of urgency and concern, of course, but never fear.

"Stay put," I told the other two. I quickly made my way to the cliff's edge. I listened intently for a response to my calls and finally heard the sweetest sound I shall ever hear: "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"

Somehow, she had managed to miss the massive rocks jutting from the face of the cliff, missed the huge log that lay placidly across the boiling river, and miraculously, missed the wrathful current itself.

"I'm coming, baby. Daddy's coming," I called back. The closer I got to the steeply sloping cliff's edge, the less footing I found. Suddenly, my feet slipped on the mossy rock. The sky became the ground the ground became the sky; pain began to stab at my back, my leg, my arm as I tumbled helplessly down the cliff, bouncing off boulders and the huge pin log before becoming instantly, briefly airborne, and finally splashing in the the freezing water. I came up immediately, gasping and ready to fight the fierce current.

Incredibly, the current charged past behind me, a scant two or three feet away. I stood now in approximately five feet of slow-moving, almost still, water where the cliff face made a sharp inward V-cut into the mountain. To the right and left of the V-cut the icy water rushed madly by, oblivious of the sanctuary where I landed.

Toni was clinging to a small flat rock at the base of the cliff. She looked so tiny and courageous there as she silently struggled to grip the smoothed edges of stone with her small, frosty fingers.

"Daddy's here, Daddy's here," I panted. "I gotcha, baby."

I wadded over, the water still up to my chest at the base of the cliff. I pushed Toni up and out of the water and onto a small lip. From there we slowly made our way up the face of the cliff, crawling, grabbing crevices, shoving our knees hard against the stone, and dragging ourselves upward, our clothes still weighty and hanging with the drenching from the river below.
I briefly looked up. I saw my son, whom I'd completely forgotten about, leaning precariously down with a small strap he'd taken off the water bottle.

"Get back!" I barked. "We're OK. Go back up." Somewhere far above us, Cali was safely embracing a huge tree.

We continued our struggle up the cliff, finally emerging at the ridge where we began our trek.

Later at home, we examined our wounds. Toni had somehow managed to escape with only a small scratch on her leg. She had fallen approximately 20 feet, head first. I had bruises on my back, legs, arm and side, plus a very painful sprained left wrist. I had fallen closer to 30 feet.

That night when we said our prayer, we took our time.

Since that day, God has reminded me of the incident and the significance of many aspects of that trip. Such as how we as human beings are so easily lured by the things of this world when we stray from the path that God has chosen for us, and how easy we can fall because of our weaknesses. But he also reminded me that when we do fall, we can still call out for Him because we have a relationship with Him; He is, after all, our Father. And when we call out to Him, He is swift and sure to come.

(A time after my dad was haunted with the details of this traumatic day he woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this song)

************

The path is narrow, the cliff is steep
I try to focus, but sometimes I fall deep
And no earthly man can save me from my fall
There is only One Who hears my call

I'm cold and weary, my strength is gone
I'm bound to stumble; how long can I go on?
And just when I'm about to give it in
He gives me the hope to try again

I cry out, Oh Father, and He comes to me
I reach out to Him, and He takes my hand
And like a frightened child I'm clinging to the Rock of my salvation
until He comes

He comes for me

***************

I ran across this book today while looking for something in our book shelf. I forgot that this experience was published. And until reading the book several years ago, didn't know that my dad immortalized this memory on paper. I'm moved by Grace and am driven by His plan. He's not finished with me yet.

Blessed to Bake

I proposed the idea several weeks ago to the leadership at my church to start a baking group with the ladies who serve in the nursery at my church with me. With 200+ childcare volunteers it is hard to get to know everyone just by going to the gatherings. Last night was the very first baking evening. Only 2 ladies were able to make it, but it was so fun getting to know them! Jeremy and I have been getting to know a lot of people in our church by going to classes or multiple gatherings a week and by serving wherever the church needs us and I love this body that God has placed us in. It's not a country club of believers, it's not a religious meeting-doing our weekly religious duty-, everyone we've met is so real and open about their testimony which encourages us to do the same. It's truly changed our lives.

(I like much more crisp, than apple in my apple crisp)

The ladies and I baked apple crisp last night and it was YUMMY! I thought I would start off simple and would definitely take advantage of the apples on our tree that are about to be composted if we didn't use them for something. I had planned to also make some apple tartlets with the ladies but, I didn't thaw the puff pastry in time. Which actually worked perfectly because I was using a recipe that I'd never tried before (a brave move with guests, I know) so I gave the tartlets a try after the ladies left. They are so easy and sooooo delicious!After watching a youtube video on how to make tarts and studying the recipe I totally winged what I ended up baking and they ended up tasting wonderful!

The way I did these are terrible for you. Probably 500 or so calories per tartlet. I've given up sugar/sweets for a month or so and since then have had sugar head ache withdrawals and now am at a point, apparently, where if I have sweets it gives me a head ache. So, the leftovers are going to be a frequent visitor in Jeremy's lunch box.

For the Tartlets:

~Spray a muffin pan with non stick spray
~Cut Puff Pastry to fit each hole with a little over hang
~Cut about 5 medium apples into tiny pieces and reduce with a little water and mix in some cinnamon, a small handful of dark brown sugar and a pinch of flour
~After the apples are soft and the mixture has thickened, spoon into each puff pastry and fold the excess puff pastry over on each side
~Bake on 375 for 35-40 mins

To Top:
~Reduce any jam you'd think will taste good (apricot, plum, strawberry, etc)
~Brush onto baked tartlet
~In a double boiler cream together butterscotch and whipping cream to drizzle over top of cooled tartlet

Viola!!

I had half of one last night and they were sooo yummy. I haven't weighed myself this morning, but something tells me that numbers have increased for sure!

I can't wait to continue this idea and get to know more of the ladies!